The Unfamiliar Is Right Below Our Eyes

i woke up this morning beside him. i fell back asleep. When i woke up again, i didn't remember what happened the past weeks and past days. And when i got out of bed, everything came back - all the confusion, the bad feelings, the sadness, the embarrassment, the complete loss of all the things i thought i could do.

i almost threw up in the bathroom.

The layer of snow on the cold city made everything so surreal today. It matched my dejection and apathy. When i smoke in the little hovel by the science building, i can watch the quiet and white-dusted campus like i am watching a silent film. Everything looked sad today.

My heart actually hurts.